“All the other homes on the street are watching the convention, too. Except for the ones across the street. They’re watching COPS.”

“The other day I thought I was having Braxton Hicks contractions, but it turned out it was just my seatbelt.”

“My problem is we live in a world where shopping and consumerism and advertising are ubiquitous and omnipresent. They’re everywhere we go. I mean, imagine a world in which for every sign you see advertising something, we saw a sign about how wonderful the party or the president was. You know, we call that totalitarianism. But when we have a society totally dominated by consumerism and markets, we say, ‘Oh! That’s liberty.’ I don’t get it.”